To the Girl Who Feels Unworthy,
I see you behind the over-sized sweaters and the hair that covers your eyes. I see the way you look at the people who ‘have-it-all.’ I see the way you hide in the crowd rather than letting yourself shine. I see you because I know you all too well. I was you once too.
In a world that tells us, as women, that we aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, perfect enough, it’s hard to feel worthy. We fall into complacency, thinking we deserve the mediocre life we are given, because we have been taught that good things only come to the extraordinary, and that this is ‘just the way the world works.’ And so the world continues to work the way it has for generations in the past. But here is the truth:
The world will only be as great or as terrible as you perceive it to be.
If you continue feeling unworthy, you’re never going to have the courage to change things. And then, nothing’s ever going to change. Do you think Harry Potter felt worthy to save the Wizarding World? Do you think the Biblical figure Moses felt worthy to lead the people out of Egypt? Do you think all those people who put themselves out there on a daily basis feel qualified to do what they’re doing? The answer is, no.
It is not the qualified who are called, but the called who are qualified.
I spent a whole year dreaming of starting a blog, and I did nothing. I read blogging books, read articles, and fantasized about sharing my opinions about feminism and success. However, I did nothing because I felt unworthy. I thought I had nothing good to say and that no one would want to listen. However, after a year of wishful thinking, I decided to start, no longer caring whether I was worthy and wise enough to give people advice.
I’m not planning on being famous. I don’t really care if five people read my blog or five thousand people. The point is that I am putting myself out there to do the thing that I love. And you can too.
If you let your perceived worth rule your life, you’ll never get anywhere. You’re never going to change the world or find happiness. One of my favorite books, Perks of Being a Wallflower says this:
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
What do you think you deserve? If you think you deserve nothing, then that’s what you’ll get. However, if you start loving yourself and seeing yourself as the amazing person you truly are, I guarantee things will start to change.
There are so many blessings in my life that I definitely did not deserve. However, if I let my sentiments of lack of worth rule my life, I never would’ve gotten any of them. Almost every opportunity I received, I got through putting myself out there and telling myself that I deserve it.
So how can you do this too? We as a community of women must come aside each other. We must build each other up instead of tearing each other down. All the judgment that permeates our society is what leads us to doubt ourselves. When we hear others making fun of someone, or partake in this, we are perpetuating the sense of unworthiness in others, failing to recognize the continuity of this vicious cycle. It’s time to end the judgment, the slut shaming, the name-calling, and the putting-down-of-others just so we can get to the top. Is getting to the top worth it if you simultaneously destroy the chances of everyone else?
It’s time we build each other up and help one another recognize their individual self-worth.
I apply for jobs I think are out of my league because I have seen strong women in my life do the same. I befriend those who I normally would not because others have taken a chance on me. I write this blog and believe my opinions have worth because I have a strong support network that teaches me my personal worth.
You have worth. You just need to start to believe it.